We will see you soon, friend

Today was Turbo's final day with us here.  He has now crossed over the rainbow bridge and has jumped in the arms of his maker at his forever home.

After we got his blood work back on Friday,  we decided it was time to let him go.  He hasn't been the same dog in quite sometime.  He was in pain.  His blood work and urinie analysis revealed kidney failure. It wasn't at the level of concern but the values had doubled since his normal blood work taken at his annuals in May.  It wasn't if but when it happened. I could tell he was already hurting and I didn't want to prolong that.

We told the kids that this would be our last weekend with Turbo.  Dylan cried and laid on Turbo for what seemed to be forever.  Damien had received some birthday balloons and Dylan put those on Turbo to celebrate his life.

I explained to Natalie that Turbo was going bye bye to be with Jesus.  She said Jesus, bible, God.  I've  been telling her he would get new eyes and a new body.

We made his last day as best as we could.  I bought him some steak at cooked it up good for him.  He gobbled it right up, as Griffin and Sophie looked on praying for some scraps.

 Sophie shared a few drinks of water with him for the last time. She couldn't resist herself and had to clean him with her kisses while he drank.

The neighborhood kids loved on him, and of course we loved on him.  I couldn't say I love you enough to him even though I know he couldn't hear me. (I made sure to tell him as soon as he passed too.)

We watched Heaven is for Real last night.  I found comfort in that in the movie, Colton says there are lots of animals there, and that no one is old in heaven.  I find comfort that the bible says "all creation will bow".

I slept on the couch to be close to him.  We had a storm last night.  It was rough.  Usually Turbo would be scared panting, pacing and shivering. He didn't even wake up.

I called this morning to make the appointment.  Everyone was very sweet. Then I called the cremation place. All while feeling I was about to loose it at any moment.  Even though you know it's what is best for them, it doesn't make the pain any less.

He slept in. At 10:00, I made him a breakfast of 3 scrambled eggs and 2 pieces of bacon.  I took it over to his bed and he enjoyed breakfast in bed.  Afterwards he laid back down, but I knew he needed to go out. I had to force him up and take him out. I was hoping to enjoy just a little walk with him.  Our last one together, just me and him.  Ha.  He wasn't having it. I just embraced him and we cried...okay so I cried.

 final kisses from Sophie

 last time in the yard

 We tried to recreate the photo from when he was a pup.  I had to get as close as I could to his doggie bed.  He didn't like the idea of laying on the floor.

It's funny, I adopted Turbo in Chattanooga, and he made it full circle after 13 or so years in Middle Tennessee.  We said good bye to each other in the same general vicinity that we say hello to each other.

At 10:45, everyone said their final good byes, and I drove him to the vet.  I asked that we do it outside. I didn't want it to feel cold and sterile in a room.  I wanted his last moments to be outside in the breeze. It was a beautiful day, even after the storms.  The doctor came out and gave him his shot of valium. I took him and laid him on his blanket.  They went back inside for 5 minutes or so.  During their absence, I sang to him "forever reign". I love the part where it says "oh I'm running to your arms. I'm running to your arms" as I just imagine Turbo running at full speed.  I also sang "you are my sunshine" because well, he was.

When they came back, the administered the medicine.  He breathing slowed and by the end of the dose, he took about 3 deeper breaths and he was gone.  They left me to say my good bye and I loved and kissed on him.  Reminding him how much joy he brought into our lives and how much he was loved. When I got in my car, the song "Open Up the Heavens" was playing.  Thank you God, I needed that little God wink from you.

I called my mom to tell her that he was gone...and Natalie was on speaker since she is with my mom right now. I told her Turbo's gone bye bye. He's with Jesus now. I asked her what did he get?  God knew I needed a chuckle, she replied "a penis".  God love her.  Finally she said new eyes and new body.

Damien shared this with me, that he read online. I love it. I will cling to it over the next few days, weeks, months, years....

Dogs Never Die

Some of you, particularly those who think they have recently lost a dog to “death”, don’t really understand. You see, Dogs never die. They don’t know how to. They get tired, and very old, and their bones hurt. Of course they don’t die. If they did they would not want to always go for a walk, even long after their old bones say: "No, no, not a good idea. Let’s not go for a walk.” Nope, dogs always want to go for a walk. They might get one step before their aging tendons collapse them into a heap on the ground, but that’s what dogs do. They walk and they run.

It that they love your company. A walk with you is all there is, being with you is the greatest thing on Earth to them. To walk with their boss, and the cacaphonic symphony of odors that the world is. Cat poop, another dog’s mark, a rotting chicken bone (extreme excitement), and you. That’s what makes their world perfect, and in a perfect world death has no place.

However, dogs get very very sleepy. That’s the thing, you see. They don’t teach you that at the fancy university where they explain about quarks, quantum mechanics, and Keynesian economics. They know so much they forget that dogs never die. It’s a shame, really. Dogs have so much to offer and people just talk a lot.

When you think your dog has died, it has just fallen asleep in your heart. And by the way, it is wagging it’s tail madly, you see, and that’s why your chest hurts so much and you cry all the time. Who would not cry with a happy dog wagging its tail in their chest. Wap, wap, wap. But they only wag when they wake up. That’s when they say:“Thanks Boss! Thanks for a warm place to sleep and always next to your heart, the best place.”

When they first fall asleep forever, they wake up all the time, and that’s why, of course, your chest hurts and you cry sometime. Wap, wap, wap. After a while they sleep more. (remember, a dog 'while' is not a human 'while'. You take your dog for walk, it’s a day full of adventure in an hour. Then you come home and it’s a week, well one of your days, but a week, really, before the dog gets another walk. No WONDER they love walks.)

Anyway, like I was saying, they fall asleep in your heart, and when they wake up in your heart, they wag their tail. After a few dog years, they sleep for longer naps, and you would too. They were a GOOD DOG all their life, and you both know it. It gets tiring being a good dog all the time, particularly when you get old and your bones hurt and you fall on your face and don’t want to go outside to pee when it is raining but do anyway, because you are a good dog. So understand, after they have been sleeping in your heart, they will sleep longer and longer.

But don’t get fooled. They are not “dead.” There’s no such thing, really. They are sleeping in your heart, and they will wake up, usually when you’re not expecting it, wag their tail and make your chest hurt and your eyes misty. It’s just who they are.

I feel sorry for people who don’t have dogs sleeping in their heart. They’ve missed so much. Excuse me, I have to go now, my chest is hurting.

Turbo,

You brought so much joy to our lives.  I know that God used you to bring Damien into my life and bring 2 beautiful children into our home.  I know that when you crossed that rainbow bridge God said well done good and faithful servant.  Thank you for the joy, the laughter and the tears.  You have been my best friend for 16 years and I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. We will see you soon. It will seem forever for us, but only a little while for you.  Enjoy chasing, swimming and playing with all your new friends.   Hugs and Kisses sweet one.